Updated: Apr 18
You have probably heard that if you try let say a new vegetable ten times, you are more likely to like it after that time. But did you know that according to researchers, if you do something new, you only need 21 days before it becomes a habit? The same is probably true about breaking a bad habit. Although this might not be hundred percent accurate as it is not with the vegetable. I have to confess I ate Brussels sprouts definitely more then 10 times in my life, I am still not great fan of it. But it becomes more and more bearable each time I eat it.
So it might take a bit longer to totally change the habit but still intriguing as it is, worth trying. I have recently came across to a TED talk I reveal later. It immediately inspired me to take an action. Think about it for a moment and imagine the world without complains, moaning, whining. Wouldn't the world be a better place to live in? Ok, I hear you, "But moaning is sometimes so satisfactory, how else would I let my steam out?" Or "Complaining about weather or politics is a national pastime in Britain!" Believe me, there are other ways to deal with it and they lead to much happier life.
I am not saying to completely stop complaining. Psychology Professor at Bowdoin College Barbara Held explains that “It’s important to learn how to tell friends and family when you’re upset. If you don’t, you end up alone in your pain.” It is mainly about directing our "complains" towards the person who can solve our problems. Telling my friend about my partner's habit of lets say being late for dinner is not going to solve the problem. Having a calm conversation with my partner explaining my concerns most likely will. The same works if we are not satisfied with a product we bought and contact directly the seller about it. Politics as well as the weather might be a bit more complicated but apart from voting in elections both are beyond our control. It does not make sense to loose sleep over something we can't change.
I am talking more about negativity we are creating and holding inside us which is stopping us from fulfilling our potential. The excuses we make, the self-pity which does not lead anywhere. This negative energy is making us ill, leads to depression and spreads easily to others. Complaining is an unhealthy habit for our health and mind. So it is time for change.
I am preparing a Quit complaining challenge for January. Over the 3 weeks (1 email/topic per week) we keep a track of our complaining habits, go into more details about why we are complaining and finally explore tips how to complain less. Who is in?
Spoiler: Of course there will be journaling involved!
The challenge has ended. To download the emails, visit Resources section. If you don't have the password yet, please contact me and I will email it to you.